Adoption - Colorado Style

Derek and I began exploring our adoption choices early in our marriage.  Colorado is an agency state, which entails very clear standards and stipulations for adoptions statewide.  The process is the same for every prospective adoptive family without regard to the program that they are going through.

The couple chooses an agency to work with, attends an informational meeting, applies for the program, goes through all of the paperwork and background checks, does the SAFE Homestudy which is the same questions for everyone and includes one meeting as a couple, a meeting as individuals and a home visit.  The outcome of the SAFE Homestudy is to certify us as a foster family.  We have to be certified as a foster family within the state of Colorado because the adoption of our child will not be finalized until six months after placement.  During the six months the adoption agency is the holder of all major decisions for the child even though the child resides with us.

There are three programs that go through this exact process and to participate in any of them you would have to contract with an agency.  The programs are inter-country (international), domestic infant and designated adoption. 

Inter-country is the traditional adoption from China, Ethiopia, Russia, etc. that are often on the news.  Our agency has shared that in the recent years they have seen a decline in inter-country adoptions and an increase in couples doing domestic infant adoptions.  They have not said why they have seen this trend, but my guess is that the Hague Convention changed the standards a few years ago which has contributed to many countries either slowing down or shutting down all together for inter-country adoptions.  The wait time for these adoptions can be upwards of two years at times because of all of the hoops that have to be cleared.

Domestic infant adoption is the program that Derek and I have chosen.  We had to go through all of the steps above in order to move into the waiting pool.  The agency is given birth mother referrals and the social workers work intensely with them.  It is the agency's job to review all of the options that a birth mother has including abortion, parenting and adoption.  On our end we hope that the decision every time is adoption, but it is truly the birth mother's choice.  If the birth mother chooses an adoption plan she moves forward with an open adoption style.  This style allows the birth mother and birth father (if involved) to choose the family from profile books that they want their child to spend their lives with.  At that point the adoptive family is contacted and a match meeting happens.  During the match meeting the two parties meet with a social worker and get to know each other.  Once the match meeting is done the decision is made to move forward or not.  In most cases it is a match and the adoption plan continues.  The birth mother also has a hospital plan that details how she wants the birth and her hospital stay to be.  This may include us from the beginning, middle or end.   We have no say in what she chooses and have to be on her plan until she and/or the baby is released from the hospital.  Once placement happens we will maintain contact over the years with the birth family based on an agreement that we have created.  The agreement is not legally binding and if Derek and I feel that it is a detriment to our child for the relationship to continue we can stop all contact.

A designated adoption is when both the birth mother and the adoptive family find each other outside of the agency.  This is similar to how some states do adoption, adoptive families are on their own to find a birth mother.  The adoptive family still has to go through all of the hoops to be approved and the birth mother has to complete the counseling through the agency.

The other option outside of the agency is the foster to adopt program.  This would be an application through Human Services rather than an agency.  In this case it is unlikely that a child under the age of two years would be placed in your home and later be up for adoption.  Derek and I liked this option because it seems faster, but there is a lot more emotionality that comes with it.  If the child were to be removed from our home and returned to biological parents I do not know that I would be able to survive that situation.

Every state is different in the adoption realm.  Derek and I find ourselves thankful that ours is so managed by the state as we run a less risk of having the adoption fall through.