Saying "See Ya Later" . . .

As Friday evening finished up Kearsta was starting to look a little yellow. Her skin was showing signs of jaundice. Her birth father and birth aunt both had jaundice as infants so I don't think anyone was surprised when she dawned the yellowish hue. The nurses took her blood to check her levels. Sure enough she was put on the billy lights in the middle of the night Saturday.

 Our glow baby!

The medical staff told us that heredity, a different blood type from birth mom and the bruising on her head from birth all contributed to the jaundice.
As daylight dawned on Saturday we knew that it was going to be the most difficult day yet. This was the day that we would all be parting ways although we would be saying "see ya later" rather than "goodbye." We were hanging around the hospital awaiting the results from Kearsta's latest bilirubin test. We all felt as though we wanted to go home just because it was better than the hospital yet we were sad about the impending parting of ways.
Around noon Kearsta's birth parents asked everyone to leave so they could have time along with the baby. We all filed out of the room grateful that they were taking the time with their daughter. During this time the most amazing thing was unfolding. Her birth parents were doing their version of an entrustment ceremony. This is a ceremony that is exclusively for adoption. It is done is a lot of different ways such as in the hospital chapel, at a church, in the hospital room, outside of the hospital, but the idea behind it every time is that it is a time for the birth parents to tell their baby their adoption story and a placement in the adoptive parents arms. Derek and I knew that they wanted an entrustment ceremony, but we did not know what that looked like. I don't know that K's birth family knew what that looked like either until it happened.
Her birth parents called in family members one by one. Each person was in the room spending time with Kearsta, saying everything they wanted her to know and saying "see ya later." After the immediate family had their time it was our turn to enter the room. We walked in not quite knowing what to expect, but it was the most amazing experience I have had in this whole journey. Kearsta's birth parents were telling her the reasons for the adoption, their love for her and their love for us as her parents. They took Derek and my hands and introduced us to Kearsta as her parents. Derek and I cried as this was so touching and better than we ever expected. I had written a letter that I read to them during this time. The letter talked about the journey that we were walking together yet experiencing it all differently. The most important part was telling them that we loved them just as much as we loved Kearsta. We told them that they were now a part of our family and that would never change. Our social worker had told us that oftentimes birth parents feel as though all the adoptive parents were in it for was the baby and we did not want them feeling that way. After getting to know them and loving them we felt attached far beyond our connection because of Kearsta. After we read the letter they asked that we take great care of her and we told each other that we loved everything about each other and our experience together. Once Derek and I were done talking with them we left the room so they could feed Kearsta and have more time alone with her.
Once the results of Kearsta's bilirubin test came back we all packed up and moved downstairs to finish our entrustment ceremony by a beautiful waterfall on the hospital grounds. Kearsta's birth mother wanted to hand Kearsta over to me, mother to mother, right as we were leaving the hospital. Once she did the hand over her dad prayed for us. He told an amazing story about how he didn't think that they would be able to go through this process, but now he knew that they could do anything. We were all in tears.
As we walked to the car to head home Derek had a very personal moment. He experienced the feelings that his birth mother may have felt when she passed Derek on to a better life. I am so glad that Kearsta will have so many people to connect with about her adoption, anyone in her birth family and her daddy. She will not have to spend her life wondering who she looks like, who she acts like, if her birth parents like the same things, etc. My heart feels warm every time I think of all of the people who love Kearsta and know that there isn't a love for her as deep as her birth parent's love for her.
Kearsta and I still talk about her adoption story on a regular basis because we want it to be a regular part of her life. We plan on raising her having the conversations and allowing her to ask any question that she has of us or her birth family because she is just that lucky!

 

The hospital has a photography service. They came to the birth family's room and took some pictures of Kearsta when she was a day old.

Man, riding in the car is a tough job!

Hosptial Stay Day One . . .

Hospital time is stressful for any parents, but it can be extremely stressful for the birth and adoptive families. Sure, you have met and may or may not know each other well, but when the baby is involved emotions can run high. The birth family is going through emotions that I cannot imagine including reconsidering their adoption plan. As the adoptive family we were told to expect the unexpected and go with the flow. Our caseworker also said that the hospital time tends to be the most stressful for everyone involved.
Since Kearsta was born so late at night we found ourselves running on adrenaline into the early morning hours. After birth the hospital allowed one hour for the family to hold the baby before going to the nursery. After the hour Kearsta's birth father, Derek and I walked Kearsta down to the nursery to be checked out form head to toe.

As the nurse checked Kearsta over she was passing all of the requirements. Kearsta's birth mother had gestational diabetes which contributed to her large birth weight. It also can cause newborns to have a drop in blood sugar. While in the womb babies manage their blood sugar through the umbilical cord. Upon birth they suddenly lose that and the baby has to begin managing their own. The nurse checked Kearsta's blood sugar and it registered at 30. She had to have a 50 in order to be cleared for that blood sugar round. Lucky Kearsta got to eat right away! She took the bottle like a champ in her birth father's arms. After she ate we had to wait another hour before testing her blood sugar again.

After an hour Kearsta's birth mother walked down to the nursery to give Kearsta her first bath. It was a really special time for her birth parents and something that they really wanted to be involved in. We also had Kearsta's footprints and a fingerprint of each of her birth parents inked into a book about adoption called "Forever Fingerprints."
After our time in the nursery we all retreated to our rooms in hopes of getting some sleep. Kearsta went to her birth parents' room for a couple of hours and then came to Derek and my room for the remainder of the night. I remember her waking up at one point and I jumped out of bed and had her in my arms to care for her. The next morning I only had vague memories of this happening and I knew that I was exhausted!
Friday Derek and I tried to stay out of the birth family's way. We wanted them to have the time that they needed with Kearsta. We took a nap and I dealt with getting Kearsta added to my health insurance. They had some visitors and my mom and stepfather, Gary also came to the hospital to visit. Derek and I kept pinching ourselves as the time was so relaxed. There was never a point that Derek and I felt scared that Kearsta wasn't going to be coming home with us as we had been warned of by our caseworker. We continued to laugh and enjoy each others company as we passed our sweet baby girl around the room to be loved and snuggled. There was even a point in the day that we compared Kearsta's length and size to that of a foot long Subway sandwich. There were many laughs and memories made that day!