The Most Precious Gift . . .

I had a very difficult time reigning in the Christmas spirit this year. In years past Christmas has been a very enjoyable time of decorating for the holiday, shopping for others (and a little for myself) and looking forward to Christmas traditions with family. I went back to work the first week of December so Christmas just really snuck up on me. I would come home from work, snuggle Kearsta and usually take a nap with her. I was missing her so much I just didn't have the motivation for my typical Christmas spirit.

As Christmas was approaching Derek put lights up on the outside of our house and for the first time in our marriage we put up an artificial Christmas tree. I am embarrassed to say, our tree only ended up with seven ornaments on it and they were all "My First Christmas" ornaments for Kearsta!

On Christmas Eve we spent some time with Kearsta's birth family. Our family was showered with gifts from all of them, which was so unexpected! We enjoyed a few hours of food, visiting, laughing, opening presents and watching Kearsta's birth family love on her. It is such a heart warming time when we see them. The last gift that we opened was one especially for Kearsta. It was a gift that I am sure every adopted child dreams of having, the reason their birth family chose adoption. Here it is.

My Dear

Kearsta, every day I wonder, who will my little girl grow up to be? Maybe you'll be a teacher, a doctor, or a sailor on the sea.

Maybe you'll find the cure to cancer of lead America to victory.

Each day I pray that God will lead you, and that you will follow him with all your heart. But I always pray my darling, that you will not forget your start.

The day I finally met you, I fell in love at first sight. And I knew in that moment, that what my brain had said was right.

I wasn't ready for you, but I knew two people who were. They would give you a home and a life that you deserved.

Even if you never know how much I truly cried, I want you to know that I 've given you a guide.

Someone to teach you how to walk, talk and read. Someone to give you everything you need.

They will love you just as I would, if I was only able. But I'm far too young to put food on the table.

I pray that you will love them too, as much as I love mine. It is not easy to understand, I know that it takes time.

I hope each day that you will someday be exactly what the Lord has planned. But I also pray each day that you will not forget my hand.

The hand that lay upon your head the day of your birth. And the ones who held you close for all that you were worth.

I know that now you are still quite young and have long to go. I hope to show you just how much love I have for you, and everything you know.

I pray each day that you will love just as we have loved, and that you will always know that you a precious gift from above.

I pray each day that God will show you who you're meant to be, but most of all my princess, I pray that you never forget me.

Every time I see this poem, as I enter Kearsta's room, my heart fills with thankfulness. I am so thankful for open adoption. I am so thankful that Kearsta will continue to know her birth family. I am so thankful that Kearsta will be able to develop her own adoption story with truth. I am so thankful that she received the most precious gift on her first Christmas just as her father and I received her on September 8, 2012.

 Photo shoot offered by the hospital September 7, 2012